Story of my life that sometimes were interesting...
Kan lebih mahal nilai air mata itu kalau jatuhnya diatas tikar sejadah,apa guna dihabiskan airmata pada si dia yang telah pergi meninggalkan ku,sedangkan kasihnya Allah tak pernah pergi jauh dariku,aku bersyukur atas segala rahmat Mu,semoga dipermudahkan segala urusanku...
"FORGET HER" forget her name, forget her face,her smile,her warm embrance... forget the love that you once knew... REMEMBER, SHE HAS SOMEONE NEW... forget her when her played your song... REMEMBER WHEN YOU CRIED ALL NITE LONG... forget how close you once were... REMEMBER, SHE HAS CHOSEN HIM... forget how you memorized her walk... forget the way she used to talk... forget the things she used to say... REMEMBER, SHE HAS GONE AWAY... forget her laugh, forget her grim... forget the way she held you tight... REMEMBER, SHE'S WITH HIM TONIGHT... forget the time that went so fast... forget the love that moved, its past... forget she said she's leave you never... REMEMBER!! SHE HAS GONE FOREVER...stop to pLay with fire cause there will always be a fire back,always..Remember that SHE WHO CHOOSE THIS WAY!!...oNce u loose it, u'll regret it Forever!!!..In life,love can came n go,we smile 4 it,laugh 4 it n sometimes cry 4 it,hurm..so painful..some started with friendship,n some just realised when its almose gone....sometimes just because 2 be appraciated,we do so many things without thinking altough some of them were ridiculous n sometime were silly...hurm...but some of us finally realised that our life is not a fairytail,n we need 2 start it over,just 4 one dream,its not mean we had 2 sacrifice our whole life,altought when our heart broken badly facing the reality,dont let its fall down,slowly gain courage n stand on our own feet n convince ourselves that we were walking in real world..eventought how much u know someone,u still cant judge n read their action or predic what's on their mind..In life,we had 2 learn 2 let go after we had try our best n put full effort on it because the more u wait,the more time u waste..start with heart,dream n fantasy,even how much strong our principe can be shaking cause we just a human,but if u felt that feeling just addmit it n said it before we loose n regret it..but as a human...only god knows what gona happen next in our life journey..but I know how the story begin,so its up 2 us 2 decide 2 choose weither 2 win or 2 loose,but hey..I'll choose 2 win!!!...^_^
Finally she had made her mind,but unluckily the guy isn't me....actualy it would be a lie if I said I dont felt anything,mayb abit frustrated..wuwu~ T_T...but its ok,cause this time its not as hard 2 take as the past day cause I had redha with the fate...I respect ur decision n mayb you wasnt 4 me..sob2 :((..cause I belive in effort n doa comes first before fate...n I had put my full effort on it..but it's seems..hurm..then now I leave it 2 fate...actualy I dident know well that guy...mayb he got the things that she had dream about that she could'nt find in me...yea..plus also the advantage cause he's closer 2 her(yela ari2 dorg jumpa..aku neh dok jauh)..so the probability that she will be closer 2 him will be higher cause there will be place 4 her 2 lean on cause I can't be there 4 her..waa~ T_T...but the part tenacious and tread cautiosly..that part can be questionable cause if honestly I ask her between me and that guy who's she knows better??..hurm..sometimes I envy 2 that guy cause it seems that he dosen't had 2 put alot of effort 2 get her as I do..yea, mayb one day she will realised how much lost by putting me aside,a guy that could be patient for her,could take all the pressure,putting others girl aside,willing 2 do many things 4 her altought I never felt been appreciated,n never being her priority!!, n I bet u could'nt find easily a guy as good as me in ur entire life!!!!... but ahh!!!..nothings with this things matter's anymore..she had made her choice n her path cause we are what we choose..n now so do I..I must make a choice...n this time I choose 2 to turn 2 the other way,mayb now is the time 4 me 2 find a girl that would appreciate n giving me all her attention n priority..I just realised all this things when I read my old friends blogs...he's full of ambitions that make me realised that I dont want 2 be leaved behind..someday I will be somebody..n I'm willing 2 work hard 4 it..4 my future next 3 years plan is,I will assure that I could be choosen 4 intake 4 degree preparation engeneering student 2 japan!!mayb that sound abit silly but I will prove it!!not just by word..but by action!!..that's mean extra,extra n extra nonstop effort n work hard!!...I waste 2 much time in my past that make me regret n sometimes felt a pang of guilty to my parents to shattered their hope n 2 be differ from my others sister's that had succesful in their educations..but I'll always belive that I could done better over both of them If I put enough attention n effort in learning..this is time n chance 4 me 2 fulfil back my dream that were not reachable during my spm altought some of my dream now cannot be reachable like my engraved dream 2 be with her...hurm..but now I hope she happy with her choice,never will hold grudge agains anyone n no negative thinking neither offence,u still my friends..but I will prove 2 my selves n 2 her that I were way,way n way superbly better!!..we see which side gona gain more loses,either my side or her side!!!..just taste my courage!!..n let the time shows it!!!..I still remembered that time when I dident get any offer 2 futher my study cause I dont want 2 change my application course,I still eager 2 apply 4 mechanical engineering 4 all my application altough my spm result were not good enought..,than my mother heard there were many empty place in unimap,then she bring me 2 the intake department,at first I felt shy..but 4 future I put those aside,then go there with my mother,then the recepcionist said the application were already closed..damm,I still remembered her sorrow face of her shattered hope,I cant stand 2 saw her face like that,that all I can give 2 her??..4 all her care 4 me all 18 year,n 9 month she pregnant me(dia jugak sanggup tebal muka p tanya reception 2..wlaupun aku sniri pun sgan)altought she never had 2 do like that 2 my others sister that get many offer 2 study 2 overseas..damm..I felt superbly guilty..I cannot describe my feeling that time,its like mix of guilty,sad n arghh!!!..that time,right on the spot I had made promise 2 my selves,I said 2 my selves next in my entire life I will put all my effort that I could in my study,I gona show my true potential!!..I gona pay back cash all the tears that she had drops with her tear's of hapiness n 2 be proud of me!!!!...japan wait,here I gO!!!!!!!
I never promised you a ray of light, I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday, I'll give you everything I have, the good, the bad, Why do you put me on a pedestal?? I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below, So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there,
One thing is clear, I wear a halo, I wear a halo when you look at me, But standing from here, you wouldn't say so, You wouldn't say so, if you were me, And I, I just wanna love you, Oh oh I, I just wanna love you,
I always said that I would make mistakes, I'm only human, and that's my saving grace, I fall as hard as I try, So don't be blinded,
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin, So pull me from that pedestal, I don't belong there,
Why you think that you know me, But in your eyes, I am something above you, It's only in your mind, Only in your mind, I wear a, I wear a, I wear a halo....
Tringat kenangan time aku terpaksa membotakan rambut utk berada dlm form 6..ha3 xD
last friday..It was last day I'm on school...actualy I had stopped going 4 F6 about a month kot..then my physics teacher...(ha3 I had already forgotten his name)..had call me cause qurios why I'm gone 4 so long...actualy I had stop going 2 school because I had recieve an offer 4 mechanical engeneering course...wee~~...at last my dream came true...Alhamdulillah..thank 2 Allah..had u Imagine that I want 2 repeat my spm just because want 2 furfill my dream 2 become a mechanical engeneer??...now I get the chance so I don't had 2 worry about the spm or stpm(pecah pala study oi!!)...huhu xD...back 2 the topic..actualy I went there just 2 take surat akuan pelajar n want 2 said 2 my teacher that I want 2 quit my schooling(yeah at last!!) ..ha3 xD...that surat akuan pelajar actualy used 2 lower the kompaun that I had 2 pay cause I just lost my ic..waa~~ :((...If not I would had 2 pay 4 about rm100++..with that letter(plus with wat muka kesian..wkakak xD)..the kompaun had been lower 2 rm30 only..wee~~...thank god cause I also had 2 pay compaun 4 loosing licence n road tax 2..sob2..(lari bajet!!!)...waa~~...haiya..I dont know that there were so many process 2 get all that things..haih..so tired!!..had 2 go 2 jpj la,pjabat polis la,pendaftaran la..etc..(bayangkan habeh rm 5 minyak mto aku ulang alik wat sume 2)..that amount of fuel by my motocycle can go about for 40km to 50km..can u imagine how tired am I riding that distance in fasting month on the hot day??..(asa cam nk pengsan)..ha3 xD...
warghhh....what a stressful night..damm..I just know syamin just recieve a call from unimap that he had sucessful 2 further study at unimap...n he accept it..damm that guy..on the past day he keept asked me 2 reject any offer n stay 4 form 6...he said its had good prospec la(some sored like that la) bla..bla this...bla..bla that..fuk..now he gona leaved me alone with all the chinese man...damm..I would be "lelaki melayu terakhir" standing in science stream class in that school...ha3 xDD..haih..Its not a big deal 4 me 2 be the only malay altought it may be abit bored caused I always talking crap with him(mrapu2 dok kutuk org cause the other chinese don't know how 2 mrapu..ha3 xDD)...but its about the personal tution..firstly the fee 2 the tution 4 sure must be high cause I'm just singgle person compared before..n i would feel segan la if just alone in the tution...moreover without study partner the study would become more hard..my mother opinion just 2 ask me 2 wait 4 the january intake,wait 4 the appael 4 polytecnic or pre diploma at uitm..but I would rather wait 4 my repeat spm result..it would be more better altought I would be late 4 one year from my others friends cause I would reach my dream 2 be a mechanical engineer..huhu xDD
hey there...ha3...its been long time since my last post...so I decided 2 write abit tonight..huhu...hurm..what a usual night...nothing 2 do..moreover 2 night i'm not in da mood 2 study...but luckily the best part about tonight I can watch euro 2008 cause tomorow is holiday..ha3..its not about I can or can't stay up 2 da morning,but in case if its a school day,I'll will be sleeping in da class..ha3..If that happen I could not concentrate with the teacher's lesson..what a waste cause i will be left behind cause there were so many topic 2 cover..so every second count..huhu xDD.. wee~..tonight match will b turki vs corotia...ha3..i guest I like them both..but without present of many turki star n lead keepers...i guest the luck will b on corotia side..huhu..actualy who ever win is not a deal cause i support them both...huhu
Nope..she dosent sign offically the release...so,I still had the chance..huhu xDD..hurm..but now its up's 2 her decision..actualy this happened acuate long time ago(not long enough la kira agak bru la..asa2 lam 3 to 5 month ago kot)..hurm...but whatever ur decision thanx a lot to my mystery girl(I kept ur name secret)..u meant alot 2 me..knowing u were the best things that had happen in my life..u show 2 me what I never had felt in my entire life..its cool u know what I'm been felt upon u..never know I would felt like this before..damm...seriosly I said until now I can't stop thinking about u..sometimes I felt u were the most pretiest girl I met(actualy aku ada gak aku jumpa pompuan len lam idup aku yg aku rsa klo reality lae lawa dr ang...tpi cam hampeh tul..aku dok asa ang gak yg lawa..adoi..mayb aku dah buta kaler dah kot)...ha3...or mayb love that had made me blind??..huhu...sometimes when I heard ur voice I smile 4 no reason,while looking at you I can't see the others people around(ne jadi wak2 skali 2 time ang dok panggil2 aku,gilo nampak ang sorg ja org..tpi sat ja la,5 second kot)....I'm start 2 listening 2 slow song..freak man,that time I who used 2 heard a7x,cradle,atreyu...etc...metal stuff lah..ha3..suddenly had change my taste by listening 2 second serenade,plain white t...n many more..(adoi kira yg jiwang2 la..ha3)...n u always be my most priority..n sometimes when I know ur hang out with other guys I felt mad altought that guys were ur friends or mayb??..only u know the truth about this right..I'm not gona accuse u from someting ur didnt do..but the most wackiest things I've done were kept ur sms n read it over n over again(malu2..ha3..skang x wat dah la..time dulu2 nuh)..ha3..n one more I realize that I kept smiling to myself when I'm thinking of u..(ha3..those thing make me laugh when I think about it over again)..ha3 xDD..but the most best things n I'll never forget were we had a lot of in common,(are they already written or its just accidentaly??)...hurm..ok2..I'm understand..not ready??...please give me more solid reason..or mayb just give it a try??..there must be a firstime right when doing somethings in life??...like I just said..I'm not gonna force u..I'ts ur decision..so please make it wise..life must go on right..so what ever happened n what ever path u choose next u still be my best friend...hurm..eh..stop2..let move 2 another topic..ha3..(satgi others readers bengang lak keja cita sal ne jek)..wkakak xDD..weh chelsea kalah weh ngan mu libanat 2...cam sial..I guest the red satan use bomoh 2 win..ha3...adoi terry2..how do you kick...hurm..mayb the red satan had put spell on you..ha3 xDD...btw..I hate that cs ronaldo(muka cam)..wkakkaka xDD...dah la dok wat skill acah2 bley last2 x msuk..wkakka xDD...cam sial..pas2 nangeh guling2 plak cam budak2 ..wkakakak xDD...but its a fight match that had 2 bring 2 penalty kick..its ok avram..next time try harder..alex a.k.a (red satan jeneral)..wkakak xDD..tobat dok wat syok..x pa2..just go celebrate in narakka..wkakakaka xDD...
I just woke up..today I'm not going 2 school..(ha3..tuang lagi)..wkakaka xDD...Its because yasterday when I'm went there,there where no teachers in the class..wtf..its been 5 days school since the day I sign in 4 form 6(tpi aku p 2 ari ja)..ha3 xDD...there were no teachers,just stayed in da class n bubling among us...furthermore,no atendant were taken..so I decided 2 not frequently go to school...(mayb 3 days a week kot)..ha3 xDD...the school had a freak law..all male student must cut them's hair on no. 3..hellyeah..(I'll be look like mawi if I followed).. ha3 xDD...so I decided to cut my long hair 2 short..(waa..syg meh)..but not like mawi..just usual short cut...huhu xDD...adeh..I felt so hungry cause I dident had my breakfast yet..huhu..when I woke up I just on the computer n start writing 4 u all..(see how concern am I)..wkakakak xDD...hurm..not bathing n eating but had aready on9..(busuk killer prangai)..ha3 xDD..owh..almost forgotten..I'll had promise 2 syamin 2 give him a ride to library 2 grab some book n study there..(rajin nye)..ha3 xDD...ok gtg..need to bath n go out 2 find some food..(mayb had nasik kandaq n sirap bandung as breakfast kot)..ha3 xDD
huhu..what a bored night..just like the other night..just online,sms..etc..what make this things even worse...this night not many people online on myspace..ha3 xDD...hurm..just listening 2 music n try 2 follow it with guitar..huhu..just a cheap acoustic guitar(guitar cap rhythm)..ha3..it's usual cause I'm not a wealth type person..altought that guitar mayb cheap..around rm 80 to rm 90 (if I'm not mistaken cause I bought it when I'm form 4,year 2006)..( sbub mkn semut byak sgt kot)..wkakaka..so maybe had forgoten already..ha3 xDD...that guitar mayb cheap but It's sound ok to my ears..mayb after I had modified it by scrubing its bridge..(sbenarnya aku dok wat pala ja pi kikih..dah la kikih x sama tinggi)..wkakka xDD...but the things that make me mad was the string that I had bought from a music shop..the string keeps snap eventhough I had replace it repeadly..I think mayb 5 times already (hampeh tul..abeh duit aku)..ha3..but mayb I cannot blame that string 2 snap..mayb its me..I'll play that guitar 2 harsh when playing metal song..(ganeh2..brutel sih)..wkakakaka xDD...the G string 3 times n lower e string 2 times..huhu..I guest that chinese man on the music shop had already reconised me cause had repeadly saw my face asking 4 guitar string..he ask me if I want 2 buy the upper grade guitar string cause it had better quality...hurm..but its more expensive..so I decided 2 take the lower grade one..(bkn pa sep duit)..wkakakak xDD...but my action 2 save some money make me had 2 use more money..ha3..the guitar string snap again ..what a bad luck of me..ha3 xDD...
I just wake up from sleep..huhu..adeh..this all cause last night fault..ha3(tido lewat pas 2 amik kak aku awai2)..huhu..this morning I woke up at 5.30a...yala to pick up my sister..(adoi...so lazy la)...but I'll pretend dident woke up when my cell phone rang up...so rather than me,my father had 2 replace me..huhu...what an evil tactical..wkakka xDD...so I continued my sleep until 6.45 a.m..then my sister woke me up..after bathing,smyang subuh..I wore my school uniform that I just bought last week with syamin,actually he bought the same design after watched me wear that cloth..ha3..(mayb I'm 2 hansome with that cloth I guest, that make him want 2 buy I't 2..wkakakka xDD)..hurm..waa..I'm felt so hungry cause I dident eat my luch yet..adoi..mayb after this I'll went 2 mamak stall 2 buy nasik kandaq...fuhh..I'ts make my stomatch 2 make sound again cause it make me remembered the aroma n taste of nasik kandaq..ha3..xDD..hurm..I guest lauk ayam n teloq gulai is enough..ha3 xDD..my favourite...ok gtg..I'll gona grab some money from father n buy nasik kandaq..wkakakak xDD..ok..if this night I'm free,I'll post again..huhu
Hey there,its been late n tomorow I had 2 wake up early in the morning 4 my school..fuk..its form 6 lol...ha3..fukin dam much i had 2 go 2 school again..I thought that the result spm day will b the last day I step my foot on school..ha3..I guest I'm wrong..that makes me rememberd that day..ha3..with long hair(sbenarnya x brapa panjang pun)..ha3..actualy I keep that hair on purpose..to look more like rock star n whan 2 show of 2 teachers that always get mad n want to cut my hair like ustad rosli..wkkakaka...but i guest it turn on other way..ha3...(adeh lari jauh plak dr topik..ha3)..ok2..back 2 the topic I'm going to school..hurm..actualy I dont want 2,I rather sleeping n wake up late in da morning..ha3 xDD..bad habbit I guest..(but so syok lah when do it)..ha3...Its syamin..my friend that begging me,he need a ride with me cause he got no transport 2 school that make me feel guilty if I'm not give him a ride..(see..how nice am I)..ha3..xDD..ok..its been late..dah la kna pic up my sister lak esok kul 5.30 kat stesyen bus..haih)..haiya..I tought when I get a car licence it would be more easier..but it give me more load..ha3..ok2..got to go..need 2 sleep..ha3..tomorow mayb if has time I'll post..need 2 smayang isyak first..not smayang yet..ha3 xDD..
Dan sesungguhnya salah seorang dari kamu beramal dengan amalan penghuni neraka hingga tiadalah jarak antara dirinya dengan neraka melainkan satu hasta, lalu ketetapan telah mendahuluinya, maka ia mengerjakan amal penghuni syurga dan iapun masuk ke dalamnya." (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim). jadi jgn rasa diri sudah terlambat utk bertaubat tetapi jgn pula bertangguh utk bertaubat kerana ajal x menunggu kita..^^